How to Mutate and Take Over the World

How to Mutate and Take Over the World by R. U. Sirius. hardcover edition. ISBN: 9780345392169.

OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS FOR AN EXPLODED POST-NOVEL This is not a novel. Dont think you can just hold your nose and jump into this. You might get boiled or vaporized. Anodized. THIS IS NOT A NOVEL Before you start reading an exploded post-novel, you should think strategy. While we do recommend reading this book from front to back--left to right--you can skip around as you please. It is disguised as a scrapbook. You can channelsurf it. Or graze through sections, munch munch munch. After you acquire the taste, youll feel strong enough to start at the beginning and read through to the end, in precisely that order. Dont take too much at one sitting. Do not overdose. Its dense, fast. Things get technical. Theres a relentless quality to the first-person narrative that may exhaust you secondhand. Read only until the vertigo overwhelms you. When you find yourself crying out, "For gods sake, give it a break!!!". . . well, exactly. Put the book down. . . gently. Rest. Watch TV. Read Ben Is Dead. Go somewhere watery and lie in the hard radiation. Read a nonexploded novel. Take up crime. Then. . . Read a little at a time. Swallow it slowly like crème br-lée. Or hold it in your cheek like Copenhagen Smokeless. But do not rush. If you go slowly enough, by the time youre done, the made-for-TV movie will be out. Starring Steven Seagal as R. U. Sirius and Whoopi Goldberg as St. Jude.