I Vampire

I Vampire by Scott, Jody. mass_market edition. ISBN: 9780441377503.

Can a seven hundred year old Transylvanian find true love with a revolutionary Rysemian fish-woman? After seven hundred years, glam vampire Sterling OBlivion worries the joy has gone out of life, until a knock-down brawl with Virginia Woolf in the ladies room of a Chicago dance studio. But Woolf is really Benaroya, a dolphin-like alien anthropologist here to learn all there is to know about humanity and to fight the good fight against the evil, slave-trading Sajorians. Sterling falls madly in love with Benaroya. Its just the sort of romp an aging vampire needs--but first, to defeat the Sajorians, they have to sell millions of Famous Mens Sperm Kits to every woman on Earth. Intro by Theodore Sturgeon