I'm Next

I'm Next by Steve Goldberg. paperback edition. ISBN: 9780747233916.

Bill Goldbergs friends were skeptical when he decided to quit being an NFL defensive lineman and take up pro wrestling. "Billy Goldberg, a wrestler?" said his pal Roger Duchowny. "Jews dont wrestle... except with guilt." But Bill was a last-string lineman with a bad groin injury, and a born performer. So he went to study with the runty Jedi master of wrestlers, Dewayne "Sarge" Bruce, who used to wrestle as "the Leprechaun in the Dungeon of Doom." Sarge got Billy through basic training with flying colors. Duchowny, a director for The Love Boat, suggested that Billy devise a catch phrase, and they came up with "Whos next?" Needless to say, "Goldberg" proved a more imposing stage name than "Billy." And at his 1997 match in Salt Lake, Goldberg whomped the well-known Hugh Morrus (a.k.a. "Humorous") with style, throwing in a back flip for good measure. Goldberg was on his way. Soon he had a look (bald, gloves, a cool, thorn-themed arm tattoo from Georgias Psycho Tattoo), and a signature entrance, through a shower of sparks. (The key is to be as wet as possible, because sparks do sting.) There have been times when, for all his success, Goldberg has regretted following his instincts. "Using a real cattle prod was my idea. If I was going to lose, it was going to look as realistic as possible, but when I ate the voltage I knew why those big beasts were so cooperative. As the crowd started to chant Goldberg. Goldberg. Goldberg, I lay there wondering what the hell I was doing flopping around the ring like a fish in a Speedo." Still, art is its own reward, and he has no regrets about severing his tendons, getting 196 stitches, and nearly crippling himself by punching through a limousine window instead of using the scripted prop, a sledgehammer. "My girlfriend could break a window with a sledgehammer. Wheres the theatrics in that?" Bill Goldbergs grandpa was in the circus. Like grandpa, like grandson. Only in Bills circus, the clown, the strongman, and the barker are all rolled into one. Goldberg is one of the barking strongman clowns to watch. --Tim Appelo