The Grumpy Gardener's Handbook

About this book

Following in the curmudgeonly footsteps of The Grumpy Drivers and Golfers Handbooks this is a compilation of all things frustrating about maintaining the average domestic garden. Grumps attempts to improve his extra room outdoors are thwarted at every turn. His lawn develops alopecia his fruit trees are shunned by all pollinating insects his veg is a big hit with slugs and his Indian sandstone patio becomes an ingenious sunken garden. Chapters include Pruning Weeding Compost (Ivor is convinced that cryogenics fan Walt Disney could be happily accommodated in his non-decomposing compost bins) Sheds Pond Life "Oh I Simply Adore Lobelia"; (people who talk too loudly in show gardens) TV Gardening Pests and Living With Leaf Lady a woman hell-bent on identifying every foreign leaf that is swept into their garden and returning it There is a Grumpy Calendar of seasonal jobs in the garden and how best to avoid them plus advice on how to impress people with a Slackers Veg Patch (vegetables that look after themselves more or less).