Vamped: A Novel

About this book

Martin Kowalski is an eighty-year-old man stuck in a twenty-year-old body. He works the graveyard shift. He has a poster of Bela Lugosi on his wall and a box of uneaten Count Chocula in his pantry. He drinks stem-cell-derived blood from cleverly packaged and marketed juice boxes. He is in short a vampire. But since his wildly successful scheme to turn as many mortals as possible into vampires - "vamp" them rather than kill them - resulted in a new immortal majority Marty finds little of interest to fill his countless days. From the mind of David Sosnowski - who gave us the critically acclaimed junkie-angst classic Rapture - bursts this neo-vampire novel with pint-size vampires known as "screamers" (children who were vamped and are none too happy about it); priest vampires who helped convert their flock into lifetime members of the Church; stripper vampires who lap-danced their way into customers veins; and one very small very outspoken human girl. When Marty decides to end his endless life of soul-crushing ennui - call it vampire affluenza - a three-foot blond obstacle is thrown in his path: Isuzu Trooper Cassidy a refugee from a human hunting preserve. At first he thinks "midnight snack " but before the sun comes up Isuzu is the one snacking on his prized cereal collection as she charms him into staying undead long enough to raise her in a world rife with danger and almost entirely populated by vampires yearning for the taste of real human blood.