A Long Walk Up the Water Slide

Neal Carey has to keep the mob the FBI and a major television personality from killing his newest client-- but hes tempted to do the job himself. Sometime student and ever-reluctant detective Neal Carey would rather be finishing a dull doctoral thesis than staring down the nose of a loaded gun-- but his new assignment doesnt sound dangerous. All hes got to do is pull off the ultimate makeover: turn Polly Paget-- a gum-chewing foul-mouthed big-haried broad-- into a perfect lady in time to testify in a rape case against Jack Landis head of the Family Cable Network and Americas most beloved family man. But Polly isnt cooperating and everyone-- including a former FBI agent and an obsessive-compulsive hitman the Mafia a porn prince and a slew of tabloid reporters-- is on her trail turning Neals "simple" assignment into a deadly game of duck-duck-goose. In a hellish and hilarious escapade that takes him from the deserts of Nevada to the bright lights of Las Vegas and finally to a hair-raising climax in a shoddily built amusment park Neal tries to escape the mobs big guns while taking a slippery walk up the worlds biggest water slide.